Simple Gifts

As you know if you’ve been reading this blog for long, there are lots of losses in my life just now.  Trouble with my son and a recent separation after 11 years with my partner.  Both these things are hard and most days are more of a struggle than they were before.  My attention is divided and my energy is sapped by trying to maintain a relatively normal life at the same time I am being challenged and grieving and growing and healing.

I am glad to find that my faith is strong.  My faith in life, in myself, in the wisdom of “this too shall pass.”  For the first time I can remember, I am facing significant crisis (crises, really) and not feeling panicked or self-blaming or afraid that everything will fall apart.  I have come to a place where I know that I can make it through the hard times and joy will come back. (In the morning or in a month or a year…it will come back.)

I’ve learned that times of pain are times when I have to take care of myself, attend to the most important things in my life, and be gentle with my own limited human self.  As long as I keep going, keep trying my best, keep being true to my heart–I can make it through this.

There are small encouragements along the way:  A friend from Junior High who found me on Facebook and has reached out to reconnect.  A silly dog that I got on pure impulse who helps me remember to attend to the details and be in the moment.  The power of knowing that I have done my best for so long that it’s okay if I am not at my best for a while.  That’s not an excuse–but a message of peace that feels very important to remember.

I have the month of July off from my ministerial responsibilities.  I intend to use that time well. To heal, to study, to ground myself again.  I want to come back with renewed joy and vision–both for myself and for the church.  I feel confident that it will happen.  I continue to hold before me a single question: “What must I do to be faithful to Love and move toward Health and Well-Being for myself and for the common good?”  It’s a good question. I hope it guides the rest of my life.


3 thoughts on “Simple Gifts

  1. I called my best friend today because I was very upset about something. After hearing what was wrong and making the appropriate noises, she asked if I would like to talk to her kids.

    Her kids are always so darn happy to talk to me.

    Yeah, it’s the little things.

  2. Well done! This is where the faith work you’ve been doing all along that is hidden (so to speak) is revealed and tested. Keep standing strong!

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